The days are all beginning to run together; time has no meaning. I wonder if this is what retirement will feel like? I’m beginning to see why people often die shortly after retirement – they have nothing to live for… unless they plan ahead. I thought I had planned ahead, but I am currently resisting my plan.
I did my morning routine right up through exercising, and then wondered what I would do for the rest of the day. I didn’t feel like accomplishing anything on my list – everything seemed too big to tackle, and I didn’t even want to tackle just a piece of a project. I am getting very demotivated, and I have yet to do a lick of what I had hoped to do should I ever find myself without a job. I’m so disappointed in myself!
I guess part of my “funk” too is that I continue to get trickles of work from my consulting job, but only half an hour at a time, and I don’t think they’ll want to pay me for this time. The work, though short-lived, requires a lot of concentration, and when my family is home, I can’t concentrate – there’s too much noise! Meanwhile, well-meaning friends at work continue to ask for my resume because they want to get me into another company. I don’t want to do that right now; maybe never! I need rest. I need purpose. I need to DO something… after resting.
I got a phone call yesterday from Schwab stating that I had until next Friday to sell all my stock options, and only until this Thursday to do so online. I thought I had an additional week! This is not good because the stock is plummeting, and I was hoping for the boost that always comes after the fiscal year-end announcement, which will happen next Wednesday. Meanwhile, the stock went down 10% late last week. Fortunately, yesterday was an up day, but today started down again, so I sold a quarter of the pot just in case it never goes back up again. Now I’m kicking myself for not selling early last week – I almost did, but I got greedy, and I was waiting for the year-end results.
Day 23 mood: grumpy, demotivated and lazy.