Day 17 – learning to relax

OK, this is more like day 16-17.

On Tuesday morning, I came to realize that I had no “A” priorities to accomplish (things that must be done today), so I started working on my “B” priorities (things that must be done in the next 2 – 5 days).  I got as far as item #1, accomplished it… and then felt like watching the last Blockbuster movie from my one month pass:  Smokin’ Aces.  This turned out to be a dynamite movie, and a great way to end a month of movie watching.  After finishing that movie, I thought I’d do Wii Fit… except that the floor thingy had no batteries, so I went to Blockbuster, returned the video, bought batteries, and proceeded to watch two more movies on Starz (remember – three free months!).  In essence, I took the day off.  I felt really guilty about this, but it did feel good to do nothing for a day.  I’d get back to work on Wednesday.

On Wednesday morning, I still had no “A” priorities to accomplish so I started working on my “B” priorities.  I got as far as item #1.  I had to get up out of the office to retrieve something to complete task #1.  While I was up, I decided to start recording movies (I’ve been recording around three movies a day – trying to maximize my free three months of Starz Network – and all while watching Blockbuster movies!  I have not been watching the Starz movies; only recording them to this point.).  Well, the movie I started to record was one that I had never seen, and wanted to see, so I sat down and began to watch it.  Today’s DVD theme was “great books I have read that have been turned into movies – Needful Things by Stephen King, Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein, and Rising Sun by Michael Crichton.  I highly recommend all three books!  The movie versions are a little more hit and miss.  Well, I didn’t want to just sit down and watch Needful Things – I had already taken yesterday off! – so I decided to cook dinner while watching the movie.

Tonight’s dinner, an Indian dish called “Palak Paneer,” requires a ton of prep, and is generally cooked well ahead of time.  Perfect for cooking right now!  Unfortunately, I cooked through most of the movie.  I saw the first 20 minutes while chopping things, and the last 40 minutes after I had finished cooking the dish.  Maybe someday, I’ll see the middle of the movie!

I was hungry after that – cooking does that – so I started Starship Troopers and began to watch it while eating.  I never got up.  I wound up taking another day off.

In the evening, I talked to my wife about his; telling her that my laziness was overpowering my internal drive to succeed (normally, I’m very intrinsically motivated).  Usually, my drive wins, but it wasn’t winning this week, and I was feeling guilty as a result.  She told me not to sweat it; that she had gone through the same thing when she first stopped working.  She actually felt that it was good for me to get away from everything until I was more relaxed.  She recommended that I take the rest of the week off; maybe more.  I love my wife!

In other news, one of my dearest friends has hinted that he’d like to do the same thing I’m attempting: web/computer-based work.  He doesn’t know anyone who has attempted this – I don’t personally know anyone who has succeeded in doing it – but I do know two companies that have succeeded over time by building passionate groups of followers (I am a passionate follower of both companies!).  I have seen how they have succeeded over time, so I was going to try to emulate that.  I also have a book on how to succeed on the internet (though I maintain that most of the folks who write these kinds of books actually succeed by selling books.).  This book had a lot of good ideas, so it was totally worth the $1.98 I paid for it.  Unfortunately, one thing this book points out is that it helps to have an outgoing personality and an entrepreneurial spirit.  I lack these things.  To date, I have failed at everything entrepreneurial I have ever attempted largely because I am an introvert.  I generally succeed when I’m in the background – making others look good.  My friend has the same problem – we’re both engineers!  I will either have to “create” a happy, outgoing figurehead (like a mascot), or hire a good-looking, outgoing person to be my front-man/woman.  My area of comfort is content and style; not sales and marketing.  Hopefully, as I begin this project, I can find subscribers who will be passionate about my content and then I won’t have to worry about a figurehead.

My friend wants me to hurry up and succeed so he can quit his job and emulate what I have done on the road to success.

Day 17 mood:  Wanting to relax, but still feeling guilty about trying to relax… and so I’m not so relaxed.  I think I would relax more if I didn’t have church-related things to do almost every evening.  My days are free, but my nights are full.  To truly relax, I need to get away from everything, including my evening commitments.  Right now, every day feels like a “sick day” because I relax a little, but I still have obligations.

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