Day 82 – momentum

Gee, I guess I’ve been busy – too busy to write.  What was to be a daily blog seems to have become a weekly blog.

Though I was “off” all this week, it was a busy week for me.  Last Saturday was tax day.  I did alright with that; I made money.  But it did highlight the fact that if I am to be self-employed, I need to get my accounting act together.  I don’t have as much information as I need on my mileage records (merely distance and destination), and there are a whole bunch of things I can write-off now… except that I need a receipt for everything, and I have very few receipts — I need a new and improved system!

And so, this week was all about updating records and improving systems.  I now have things in place, but it took a lot longer to do than I thought it would.  Here it is Friday and I haven’t done any of the environment setup for one of my (pro bono) contracts, and I should have been well into that by now.  I also have parties happening at my house tonight and tomorrow, and the house is not as prepared as I would like it to be.  By the end of the day, I’ll finally have all my old office boxes moved out to the garage – 82 days late!  With those boxes gone, my home office will again have counter space and will be fully functional – just in time for contracts #2 & #3, which will both be home-based.  I’m really looking forward to having a clean office!

Yesterday was also lunch with my former crew.  It was nice to see them and chat while slurping spicy Vietnamese soup on a cold and rainy day.  We spent the entire hour talking about our former boss.  And while I share the opinion that for the good of our former company, he should not manage, I’m not really up with all the negativity… even though I received an email from him yesterday about the “botched” work I did last week (see, I told you he would complain).  He also went on to say that I had been moving too slowly on the previous chip.  This has me a bit puzzled because I’m at home this week because I ran out of things to do – a week earlier than planned.  Anyway, I’m trying my best to forgive and move on, so this lunch sort of put a cloud over the rest of my day.  I left with some renewed anger, and now I’m wondering if I should go back and do part two of the contract if I am “too slow and mistake-prone” for him.

Should I not come back, chip #2 has zero chance of getting done on time.  Even if I do come back (which I likely will), management wants me to do the chip as part of a team effort (ie: training for them; “conforming” for me), and not on an individual basis, which is my preference.  By taking a team approach, the chip will take twice as long as me doing it by myself – the rest of the team will need to do a lot of rework until they learn how to do it right — the designer on this project is very picky.  Still, it has the benefit of training those who are there, and it will get the chip done months before they’d be able to complete it by themselves… and I’ll make a buck or two in the process.  I must admit, it sure felt good sending in that first invoice for the work done on the first chip.  It covered three months of living expenses – for only two week’s work!

Day 82 mood:  Actually, I’m feeling a bit torn right now.  I want to run from this contract, yet I still want to help.  I want to do something meaningful at home today – at least clean my house for tonight – yet I want to rest.  I know that the better thing to do right now is to avoid the “fear and laziness” side of any of my conundrums because doing so will lead to better, more positive outcomes, but hey, sometimes fear and laziness wins.  I’ll start by moving my office boxes right now and maybe I’ll gain some momentum – taking me through the day with purpose.

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