Quoth the T-Vults
by Brian Knitter

Once upon a day so dreary,
As I did my MOFL query,
Looking at each player’s name,
In hopes that I might beat the Flame.
Pulled each stat out of the news,
My spreadsheet said I did not lose.
I danced with mirth, I danced with joy,
Quoth the T-Vult, Oh boy, Oh boy!

My day was better than before,
Because I had the better score,
But then I got a Flame reply
That made me sad, and start to cry
“You did not win” I heard him say,
“You missed the Galloway runback play.”
It resulted in a defensive score,
Quoth the T-Vult, nevermore

This cannot be, I checked my stats,
But he was right, now I was last.
My team was such a sorry lot,
Either that, or there’s a plot!
How can the two-time winning champs,
Now have a team made up of tramps!?
Our team must get up off the floor
Quoth the T-Vult, nevermore!

I had lost, but I’ll be back.
My team will now clean up its act.
We will work ’til we’re a load,
Then next week, we’ll kill a Toad!
Later on, Flame will be seen,
Revenge is sweet in week 13!
Like a Phoenix out of the ashes
Flying high above the shore
Quoth the T-Vult, nevermore
Quoth the T-Vult, nevermore!!!

In other news, the Bottom Feeders were rapping, rapping, not so gently on Cheez Head’s chamber door. Big Red bricked up The Ascenders in the wine cellar. The Scorpions were cut in two by a Norse pendulum. Jumanji’s heart was still beating, but it was under the floorboards beneath the refrigerator. Sunami was as lost as the beloved Lenore. Quoth the T-Vult, nevermore!