I maintain that “The Pina Colada Song,” written by Rupert Holmes, whose song title is really “Escape,” is one of the worst songs ever written, yet it so fit the period in which it was written – a time of lose morals known as the “me decade” – and was therefore a huge hit.  It is kind of a catchy tune.  The gist of the song is that a lover is dissatisfied with his lady, so he reads an ad in a paper of a gal who is also dissatisfied, and he responds to the ad.  Turns out, the writer of the ad is his old lady.  They discover that they are writing to each other and they laugh about it; presumably staying together in renewed love afterwards.  My guess is that if Rupert were writing about himself in this song, then he’s a very lonely person right now; rich maybe, due to this one-hit wonder, but lonely none the less.  It’s only in the mind of a man that the song’s scenario would have a happy ending.  In reality, once the “old lady” realized that her man was looking elsewhere, and she herself was already looking elsewhere, there is no way the two would ever stay together.  Anyway, aside from the questionable content, there is a line that I have always found quite funny; not because it’s a funny line, but because if you listen to it on a bad stereo, as I did growing up, it sounds like it has a misplaced modifier.  The line I refer to is the start of the chorus:

If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain…

Now, while the lyricist will maintain that there is an “and” in that sentence, but when the song is sung, you can barely hear that “and,” and if you are listening through a poor quality stereo, the song comes out sounding like this:

If you like Pina Coladas getting caught in the rain…

This cracks me up every time… and actually, it’s very apropos: I don’t like Pina Coladas at all, so having them caught in the rain is fine with me – I prefer it!  A watered-down Pina Colada would taste better than a straight-up Pina Colada any day of the week.

The misplaced modifier at least made the song tolerable… as I thought about the demise of the Pina Colada; barely holding together this watered-down relationship.